Unattractive Qualities You Might Miss Early in Dating
On a first date, it’s easy to focus on charm and chemistry while overlooking subtle behavioral red flags. Most people are on their best behavior at the start, which is why deeper flaws often surface later. According to dating coach Susan Trombetti, the “real person” usually appears around the three-month mark—right when many relationships either grow stronger or fall apart. That’s when habits like poor listening or emotional distance can suddenly give you the ick.
Red Flags That Can Hurt Long-Term Relationships
Some of the most unattractive traits include poor communication, constant negativity, lack of kindness, and selfishness. These behaviors can make you feel unheard, unsupported, or emotionally alone. Sarcasm and one-upping may seem harmless at first, but relationship therapist Sofie Roos notes they often mask insecurity or an inability to connect deeply. Over time, lying, jealousy, and flakiness can seriously erode trust and stability.
Knowing What You Can—and Can’t—Accept
Experts agree the key is deciding whether a trait is a temporary habit or a deeply rooted personality issue. While some behaviors can improve with effort, others—like chronic jealousy or lack of ambition—may clash with your values. Recognizing these signs early can help you choose a healthier, more fulfilling relationship.
