A Christmas Revenge Wrapped with Humor and Four-Ply Toilet Paper

Christmas is meant to warm hearts, but one unforgettable holiday with my husband Murphy left mine fuming. His “gift” ignited such a fire of rage that I plotted my payback for an entire year.

We were a hardworking family. Murphy toiled at a metal fabrication plant, while I tutored kids and babysat, pooling every penny to support our household. Our Christmas pact was simple: gifts for the kids and parents, but none for each other. However, one year, Murphy decided to break the rules with a “special surprise.”

When I unwrapped the massive, glittering box, it revealed a vacuum cleaner. Murphy beamed, explaining how “perfect” it was—for both the house and his garage cleanup. Furious, I spent that night on the couch, crafting a revenge plan.

The following Christmas, Murphy received a giant, beautifully wrapped box of premium four-ply toilet paper. His face burned crimson as I quipped, “It’s practical—just like the vacuum!” The laughter of family confirmed my sweet success.

Since then, Murphy thinks twice about “practical” gifts. But my secret stash of wrapping paper? Ready, just in case.